m 



S.7Z7 
.\A/3 





:.^^ 



M 



SOME MISTAKES 



'^ —OF- 



INGERSOLL; 



A LECTURE 



RICHARD R. WATERS. 



NEWPORT, KY. 



SOME MISTAKES 



-0 F- 



INGERSOLL; 



A LECTURE 



BY 



RICHARD R. WATERS. 




NEWPORT, KY. 
1886. 



. IV3 



Entered according to Act of Congress in the year 1886, 

By RICHARD R. WATERS, 

In the office of the Librarian of Congress at Washington, D. C. 



ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. 



Newport Printing and Newspaper Co. 



MISTAKES OF INGERSOLL, 

A LECTURE 

— BY — 



Ladies and gentlemen : — Eobert Ingersoll is 
one of the prominent orators ot this age. His 
style is energetic, and hie phraseology is the em- 
bodiment of ridicule and pathos. His arguments 
are upheld by the frail arm of sophistrj^, and in 
the loom of imagination he weaves the fantastic 
drapery of his thoughts. 

Mr. Ingersoll may be a man of earnest convic- 
tion, of noble impulse, but, at present, he leads 
the rebellious hosts of infidelity. 

Do you think his conviction honest, his impulse 
noble? Is his cause just ? Would your families 
be happier without a definite form of religion ? 
Without the Christian religion would the world 
be any wiser, purer, or grander? These are vital 
questions, and they should be answered with 
prayerful lips. 

Ingersoll ridicules the Bible, and he uses slan- 
der as an argument against it. He is a man of 
many wants. He wants the Bible to be both scien- 
tific and religious, and, I suppose, a dictionary 
of every language. 

He condemns Moses. Why? Because Moses 
did not compile a zoological, an astronomical or a 



SOME MISTAKES 



geological encyclopedia for free-thinkers. Moses, 
he thinks, should have related every detail of the 
creation according to science. 

Now, ii is positively necessary that we should 
understand science; it helips some peopk to appre- 
ciate the teachings of Christianity. 

But Moses did not speak otihe^^JVedu/arAypof^g- 
sis," did not mention Kepler's laws, neglected to 
state how much matter God had made, and how 
much time he spent in making it. Moses forgot 
to name the constellations, and to number the 
Buns, planets, and satellites of every system. Be- 
sides, he did not invent the telescope, and only 
gave us bare facts. Therefore, says Mr, Inger- 
soll, Moses is mistaken. 

Masterly minds are explaining the Pentateuch; 
scholars and scientists are testifying to the truth 
of every statement in it. 

Mr. IngersoU is a fanatic on the subject of free 
thought. 

In his lecture entitled "Some Mistakes of Moses," 
he says : "I want to do what little I can to make 
mj country truly free, to broaden the intellectual 
horizon of our people." 

Do you understand that statement ? 

He may broaden the intellectual horizon of the 
people by elevating them. 

Education is the ladder of intelligence, but a 
thorough education includes the principles of 
Christianity. Collected evidence proves that 
every race has a belief in the existence of a 
Supreme Being; and the intellectual developement 
of each race is based upon some established form 
of religion. The Christian religion reaches the 
loftiest height of human thought, and the most 
enlightened nations rejoice in its benefits. 

What improvement does IngersoU offer? What 



OF INGERSOLL, 5 

is his standard of freedom ? Can infidelity broaden 
the intellectual horizon of our people? 

IngersoU should remember that Cbristian in- 
telligence has reformed the world. He should not 
forget that in every storm this country has been 
upheld by Christian intelligence. The shriek of 
the savage was answered by the solemn chant of 
the Pilgrim Fathers. Christian intelligence fore- 
saw the glorious future of our Kepublic, foresaw 
the dangers of monarchy, and in its godly strength 
it shattered the throne and built this National 
temple of freedom. 

Does Mr. IngersoU claim that infidelity wrought 
these wonders ? He has no just grounds upon 
which to base his claim. Then, can his visionary 
scheme broaden the intellectual horizon of our 
people or make them truly free ? 

Yain Mortal ! like a madman he tries to over- 
throw the beneficial walls which surround him, 
and his eloquent frenzy is echoed by the fickle 
lips of popularity. 

Mr. IngersoU proceeds and says : "I want to 
free the schools." He wants to free the schools ! 
That is a deep statement or else it is hard to un- 
derstand. 

He speaks again : "Science has nothing in com- 
mon with religion." Remember that remark, 
write it down, "Science has nothing in common 
with religion." 

What next? He asks the question. "Can there 
be Methodist mathematics, Catholic astronomy, 
Presbyterian geology. Baptist biology, or Episco- 
pal botany?" 

That is not proper, and it must be answered by 
asking a similar question. Can there be mathe- 
matics of infidelity, atheistic astronomy, anti- 
christian geology, free-thinkers biology, or scof- 
fers botony ? 



G SOME MISTAKES 

In the next assertion Mr. IngersoJl makes a 
mistake. "Our country," says he, "will never be 
filled with great institutions ot learning until 
there is an absolute divorce between church and 
schools." 

That is not a sensible statement. Just think 
of it, a country which is abundantly supplied 
Avith great institutions of learning, will never be 
filled with great institutions ot learning, until 
there is an absolute divorce be;tween church and 
school. As truthfully, he might have said, that 
our country will never become great and prosper- 
ous until there is an absolute divorce between 
capital and labor. 

The gentleman is not excitable; because his 
mistakes are attributed to the Bible. 

Now, here is a sentence which is too feeble to 
stand alone. 

"The liberty of man," says the Colonel, "is not 
safe in the hands of any church." 

Is that true ? The Protestant church has been 
the herald of liberty. 

In England it announced the advent of religious 
toleration, and in America it proclaimed the 
precepts of emancipation. Let us not rashly con- 
demn the zeal of the church, for its teachings are 
good, and the faults which maj^ be traced to indi- 
vidual members are unjustly attributed to the 
religious body. 

Let us test Mr. Ingersoll's views beiore we se- 
cept them. After we have applied a satisfactory 
test let us find a rule of conduct in this maxim : 
"He who scoffs at another's mistakes should not be 
trusted to remedy it." 

Our learned and inepartit.1 Infidel says: "The 
real oppressor, enslaver and corrupter of the peo- 
ple is the Bible." 



OF INGERJOLL. 7 

That is a frightful per.l of eloquent thunder. It 
is an awful crash in the storm of words. The 
Colonel, at intervals, makes a very sensible re- 
mark. My friends, suppose a great orator would 
tell you that murderers, hypocrites and adulterers 
were the protectors of our Republic, would you 
believe him? VVel], those are the names which 
IngersoU applies to Christians. 

Christianity saw this grand country from afar; 
it launched its frail ships upon the fretful ocean ; 
it stepped on shore, and worship soared over a 
wilderness ; against the hordes of the British 
crown it lead the youthful valor of America ; and 
under the Christian banner, civilization marched 
triumphantly from ocean to ocean. 

Here is an assertion, which will, 1 think, estab- 
lish Ingersoll's reputation as a thorough-bred ego- 
tist. "For my part," says he, "I care nothing tor 
what the church says except in so far as it agrees 
with my reason, and the Bible is nothing to me 
only in so far as it agrees with what I think or 
know." A generous acknowledgment. 

Kobert ought to organize a saintly band and 
found a church. 
IngersoU represents the ass in the following fable : 

Jupiter assembled all the animals together, and 
held a convention for the purpose of broadening 
the intellectual hoiizon of the animal kingdom. 

The lion was duly elected and proclaimed the 
king of beasts, and the symbolic honor, prudence 
and courage, was conferred by the potential de- 
cree of Jupiter. 

The dove was announced as the type of love; 
and since the day of that memorable convention 
it has been ever faithful to its pledge. 

The ghostly, solemn owl was elected to fill the 
oflSce of the symbol of wisdom. The sagacious 



8 SOME MISTAKES 

bird understood the nature of its high appoint- 
ment, for it flew into the somber realm of solitude^ 
and there it has remained, engaged in sage medi- 
tation. 

Jupiter selected the lamb as a fit emblem of 
innocence. But, an ass, that had taken an active 
part in the business of the convention, objected to 
the lamb, and proposed himself as the candidate. 

''The lamb," said the ass, "is weak and insig- 
nificant, but I am large, strong, and attractive." 

"Foolish ass," said Jupiter, "size and strength 
are not the characteristics of innocence, its 
attributes are humility, infanc}', and puriiy." 

The ass defied Jupiter, and insulted the con- 
vention. But an elephant seized the excited beast 
and dragged it to the foot of Jupiter's throne. 

"Ass/'said Jupiter, "arrogance and bad behavior 
have thrown you into the rude arms of punish- 
ment. You shall be the emblem ot stupidity ; 
your descendants shall be scattered throughout 
the earth; and from them will spring fools, scoffers, 
and false prophets. 

Moral : "Be not wise in your own conceit," but 
be submissive to the power of truth. Christ has 
called us together, and his teachings will broaden 
our intellectual horizon. The Bible gives us types 
and symbols of faith. Infidelity is in the conven- 
tion of church, and it ridicules the Lamb of God. 
But the Almighty will uphold the Lamb of His 
choice, and the scorners will be expelled from His 
divine convention. 

What is infidelity, what does it offer you ? It 
is the deformed child of doubt, and it offers you 
the bitter fruit of regret. Vanity is its god, and 
ignorance its attribute. We will test the charac- 
ter of infidelity. 

In the awful presence of death, what does it say? 



OF INGERSJLL. 9 

Listen ; Do not appeal to me, for I cannot console 
you. I hear your naoans and sobs, but I am like 
a savage beast that tears the flesh of its living 
prey. Your tears may drip upon the face of death, 
your voice tremble in the anguish of grief; jou 
may clench your arins around the frozen body of 
your dead, but I will be silent, for I have no pity, 
no hope, no comfort! The grave is my god. It 
is my eternal bride. Enfolded in its putrid arms 
1 will rest in dreamless, endless slumber. 

Such is the voice of infidelity. 

Ingersoll tells you to forsake your faith. He 
says doubt is stronger and grander than faith. 

We will remain firm in our belief, and to Inger- 
soll we will say — you are mistaken. 

Faith is religion's tower, and from its lofty tur- 
ret the Christian beholds the fair land of Eden. 
We will test the character of faith. Who has not 
^een the sickening, ghastly face of death ? Death 
teaches us life's mwst solemn lesson, and from his 
lurid lips come the warning words, Beware ! Pre- 
pare ! His hand sweeps valor and beauty into the 
vault of decay. Who has not wept at the sight 
of marjy strength chained with the frozen fetters 
of death, and who has not mourned over the 
shrouded forms of youth and loveliness? Within 
a casket you have placed a jewel of your life ; 
under a coffin lid she has laid a treasure of her 
heart ; unto the altar of sorrow they have brought 
a preciou«, lifeless form. 

Faith, the comforter comes, she wipes the dew 
of grief from our eyes, and sj^eaks to us in the 
accents of love. 

"My children, why do you lament? Are your 
loved ones forever lost? Those folded hands are 
only at rest ; in another life they will fondle you, 
and lead you into the fields of joy. That icy form 



10 SOME Ml -TAKES 

is but the earthly type of iran, and in its (iecuy 
you sec the fale of all material life. But let your 
hearts be tilled with joy, for immortality begins 
at the tomh, and the lading' loveliness of earth is 
endowed wiih y)uriiy and perfection in Heaven." 

Inc^ersoll boasts olnifidelity'8grandeur,8trength 
and purity, attributes every social advancement, 
every scientific discovery, the noblest productions 
of art to infidelity. He condemns every thing 
except free thought. 

To disown and dishonor his Creator is his re- 
ligion. Throui^hout nature's wide domain he 
finds nothing but death. 

The cloud-piercing mountain, llio grand ocean, 
the vast firmament, to him, are the works of rude 
force; and form, sound, and color, the creations of 
blifid chance. 

Upon Lis fi'ful brain fancy builds her throne. 
Ilis inlelleclis her vassal, and in the tinsel of false 
eloquence she arrays his vigorous mind. 

lr)gers(dl slanders the chuch and denounces 
every precept of Thristianity. 

When we know that a belief possesses purity, 
is it just to say it is without purity? When wo 
are positive that a doctrine is good, is it honest to 
say it IS bad? Mr. Ingersoll knows that certain 
elements of the Christian religion are pure and 
good, yet he denounces the whole fabric of 
Christianity. . , 

Can you accept the word of a man who insinu- 
ates that this earth and its restless hosts of life 
have no Creaior? Will you listen to a man who 
intimates that the boundless and eternal universe 
is the workmanship of sightless chance. What is 
the testimony of time? The answer is : Since the 
Ascension, eighteen centuries have been swallowed 
up in the ocean of the past; mighty nations have 



OF INGERSOLL. 11 

bad their rise and fall in the flight of those cent- 
uries; destruction has trodden upon the record of 
man's genius ; iinnihilation has crushed the ioun- 
dations of enapires; and the snnoke of desolation 
shrouds many scenes of earthly power and grand- 
eur. But the teachings o( Christ still survive — ■ 
His religion is immortal. 

My friend^, Ingersoll is mistaken. Infidelety 
cannot stand the test of time ; it canuot give you 
consolation, ncr prepare you tor eternity. 

The poet Yout-g gives a good definition of infi- 
delity in the following lines : 

"What then Is unbelief? 'Tis an exploit ; 

A strenuous enterprise: to gain it, man 
Must burst through eveiy bar ofc 'inmon sen e, 

Of coninoon sbrtrae, magnanimously wroa^ ! 
And what rewards the sturdy combatant? 

His prize, repentance, Inlamy, his crown." 

"Science has nothing in common with religion/' 
says Colonel Ingersall. 

"I say they have something in common for they 
are closely related. When I saj" i-eligion I mean 
the Christian religion. Science and religion arc 
the children of truth and each performs a noble 
duty. Science speaks to the reason, religion 
appeals to the heart ; science gazes at the stars, 
religion looks beyond them; science is a teacher, 
religion, a guide; science wins man's admiration 
and respect, religion gains his reverence and his 
love. 

A few feverish, emotional people imagine that 
science and religion are at war. 

Have you ever heard a scientific infldel express 
his views? Well, if not, you have a higher opinion 
of human nature. 

It is the scientific fanatic, or infidel, who makes 
mistakes. A true scientist is a profound stud- 
ent. He searches for truth, and the trifling 
debates of speculation are beneath his notice. 



12 ?OME MISTAKES 

The scientist knows that every fact has an origi- 
nator, and thai every form of life and matter are 
created and molded by the hand of the Infinite 
Being. 

But Ingersoll struts before the public, and con- 
demns religion in the name of science. 

Who invested him with this authority? Is he 
the foreman of a scientific jury? Is he a learned 
eage or a deep philosopher? 

i^o; but he is an orator. 

Oratory, I must admit, is a splen-did accomplish- 
ment, but that alone does not entitle a man to use 
the weighty authority of every science. No, sir; 
whenever Mr. Ingersoll says that science con- 
demns religion, he should be sure that his words 
are endorsed by the highest scieniific intelligence. 
Ingerj^oll makes the following assertion; *'The 
telescope destroyed the firmament, did away with 
the heaven of the New Testament, rendered the 
Ascension of our Lord and the assumption of his 
Mother infinitely absurd, ci-umbled to chaos the 
gates and palaces of the New Jerusalem, and in 
their places gave to man a wilderness ol worlds." 

Could the jabber of an idiot be more absurd? 
Just think of it, the telescope destroyed the firm- 
amentl How did it destroy the firmament? What 
had the telescope to do with the Ascension of our 
Lord or the assumption of his Mother. The 
Colonel says it rendered those facts infinitely 
absurd. I think it is infinitely absurd to attempt 
to investigate those facts with a telescope. "It 
crumbled to chaDs the gates and palaces of the 
New Jerusalem, and in their places gave to man 
a wildernes," says the Colonel. 

Do you believe it? Eobert has mistaken the 
engine of sight for a battering-ram ; and instead of 
a wilderness of worlds the telescope has given to 
man a systematized chart of the heavens. 



OF INGEKSOLL. 13 

Some of the gentleman's admirers have claimed 
that he is inspired. Let them compare that 
"telescope item" with the words of David: "The- 
heavens declare the glory of uod,. and the firma- 
ment showeth His handiwork," are the words of 
the Psalmist. 

"The telescope destro3^ed the firmament, and 
di d away with the Heaven of the New Testament'^'' 
are the words of the Infidel. 

Does he expect you to forsake the Word of God 
for such florid nonsense? 

Christ and his religion are faet^^ and IngersoU 
must bring his scientific facts against them. 

He does so,— what is the result? 

No change takes place. Scientific facts remain 
scientific facts; Christ and his religion remain un- 
changed; each fact is a separate and identical 
truth, and truth is eternal. 

Mr. IngersoU attributes some things to science 
which properly belong to religion. He attaches 
many claims to the telescope,, and makes it the 
standard instrument of infidelity. But Christian, 
astromers, whose light illuminates the world, have 
looked with the eye of faith through this brazen 
expounder of the heavens. The name of Sir 
Isaac Newton is emblazoned upon the scroll of 
everlasting fame. He turned the crystal eye of 
the telescope toward the firmament; the grandeur 
of Heaven was revealed,, and he bowed before the 
Maker of those vast wonders, and praj^erfally 
acknowledged the Divine Wisdom and Power. 

In the nervous brain ©f the infidel a war is- 
waging; his mind is the battle-field upon which 
science and religion meet; his mouth is the 
trumpet of infidelity's fame. Let such vain 
dreams be forgotten. Leave them with the morbid' 
mind of unbelief. Science and religion have a 



14 SOME MISTAKES 

divine work tc perlorm, and their labor is not 
confined to this span of earthly life: it extends 
into the boundless field of etcrnit3\ 

In the ''Pleasures of Hope," Thomas Campbell 
speaks of the skeptic. His lines are beautiful 
and applicable; 1 will repeat them : 

"O, lives there, Heaven, beneath thy dread expanse 

One hopeless, dark idolater ot chance, 

Content to feed, with pleasures unrefined. 

The luke-wHrra passions of a lowly mind; 

\Vho, mold'ring earthward, 'reft of every trust 

In joyless union wedded to the dust, 

Could h11 his p-irting energies dismiss. 

And call this biireu world sufficient bliss? 

There live, alas! of heaven directed mien, 

Of cultured soul, and sapient eye serene, 

Who hail ihee, Man ! the pilgrim of a day, 

Spouse of the worm, and brother of the clay, 

Frail as the leaf in Autumn's yellow bower, 

Dust in the wind, or dew upon the Flower, 

A friendless slavr-, a child without a sire, 

Whose mortal life and momentary fire, 

Light to the grave his chance-created lorm, 

As ocean wrecks illuminate fne storm ; 

And, when the gun's tremendous flash is o'er, 

To-night and silence sink forever more." 

My friends, is there anything beneficial in the 
scheme of infidelity? Has it a moral tendency? 
Let us take it in a universal sense and consider 
its effects upon society. 

Mankind, sociall}' and morally, are governed 
by fear, hope, example and discipline. 

Fear is an element of our animal nature, and 
it is the dominant emotion of the human race. It 
withholds us from rash acts, points at danger, 
enforces the law of self-preservation, and restrains 
our brutal passions. 

Infidelity has a tendency to relax the grip of 
fear, and thus allow society to become the prey 
of crime, for many submit to fear who have no 
regard for decency, religion, or God. 

Religion operates upon fear for the sake of 
morality. It tells mankind to commit no crime, 
as there is a penalty attached to an evil action. 



0FINGERS3LL, 15 

lufidelity is theoreiical and indulgent; lelig- 
on is practical and just. 

Hope is a sentiment of the soul, and to man it 
is both guide and counselor. Without hope we 
would pass an aimless mortal life and enter into 
a miserable spiritual existence. 

Infidelity does not accept hope in its broadest 
sense. It restricts this sentiment to earthly 
affairs. Keligion acknowledges hope in both a 
worldly and a divine sense. To the man of God 
it is the bright beacon which illuminates the val- 
ley of the shadow ot death. Hope is the Plicenix 
of the Soul, and from the ashes of the grave it 
takes an immortal flight. 

Example is the voice of expjrience, and it 
directs the world. Every person has his idea of 
perfection. He sets up his model and imitates it; 
society does likewise, and the rule of example is 
established. 

Infidelity destroys the perfect model of exam- 
ple. Unjust liberality has blinded its followers 
10 the beauty of truth. Eat, drink, and be merry, 
is infidelity's creed. 

Eeligious example is the glorious sun around 
which revolve the stars of truth and love ; and 
with the flight of time it will grow brighter, and 
finally it shall be seen by every eye. 

Discipline is a bulwark of society. The civil 
law could not eff'ectually secure the ends of disci- 
pline without the aid ot some palliating and ad- 
justing principle. 

Eeligion introduces morality, and morality lays 
the foundation upon which every social virtue 
stands. Infidelity is frivolous, and it rebels 
against custom, order, and discipline. 

Thus we see that religion builds the strongest 
social platform, and it carries the highest moral 



16 SOME MISTAKES 

Standard. On the contrary we see the disorderly 
conduct of infidelity, and we know it to have a 
faulty conception of moral ethics. 

Then let us conclude that infidelity would 
cause, were it universal, the down-fall of refined 
society ; and let us believe that religion is better 
adapted to guide, protect and educate mankind. 

Mr. Ingersoll is very much opposed to ridicule 
and slander, yet he indulges extravagantly in the 
use of both. I will quote his own words : "1 con- 
gratulate myself that calumny is the pulpit's last re- 
ftort. The church, impotent and malicious, regrets 
not the abuse but the loss of her power, and seeks 
to hold by falsehood, what she gained by cruelty 
and force, by fire and fear." 

That untruth is but an atom in the bulk of his 
slander. What next? 

According to the eloquent gentleman, it is 
logic, or some truthful form of reasoning. 

He says : "Imagine the Lord God with a bone 
in his hand, with which to start a woman, trying 
to make up his mind whether to make a blond or 
a brunette." 

To me, that sounds like fiendish ridicule. A 
man who scorns his Creator is devoid of the nat- 
ural instinct of the human race. Ingersoll swings 
the lush of ridicule like a brutal clown. 

I will recite one more argument from the Col- 
onel's book of mistakes which he attributed to 
Moses. 

He says : "Let us suppose, for a moment, that 
we are at the day of judgment listening to the 
trial of souls as they arrive. The Eecording Sec- 
retary or whoever does the cross-examining, says 
to a soul. 

Where are you from? 



OF INGERSOLL. 17 

From the earth. 

Did you belong to any church ? 

Yes, sir, and to the Young Men's Christian As- 
sociation, besides. 

What was your business? 

Cashier in a saving bank. 

Did you ever run away with any money? 

Were 1 come from a witness could not be com- 
pelled to criminate himself. 

The law is different here. Answer the ques- 
tion. Did you steal any money ? 

Yes, sir. 

How much ? 

One hundred thousand dollars. 

Did you take anything else with you? 

1 took my neighbor's "wife— we sang together 
in the choir. 

Did you have a wife and children of your own? 

Yes, sir. 

And you deserted them ? 

Yes, sir; but such was my confidence in God 
that I believed he would take care of them. 

Have you ever heard of them since ? 

No, sir. 

Did you believe in the rib-story? 

Bless your soul, of course I did. A thousand 
times have 1 regretted that there were no harder 
stories in the Bible so that I could have shown 
my wealth of faith. 

Do you believe in the rib-story yet? 

With all my heart. 

Give him a harp !" 

Eobert's converts will find more sustenance on a 
rib than in all of his talk. Too much eloquence 
is hard on the constitution. Humor is nature's 
playful child; but ridicule is the offspring of envy, 
in this cast} I will fight the Detil with his own 



J8 SOME MISTAKES 

Let U8 imagine that we are on the heavenly side 
of the "Impassible Gulf," witnessing the Devil's 
conduct at i)is grand reception day. Ingersoll 
arrives and heartily shakes the Devil's band. 

How do you do ? You are v^^-^ familiar — what 
is your name? 

Why, don't you know me? 1 am the great 
orator, Ingersoll. 

Is that so ? Now, Colonel, I will ask you a lew 
questions. 

Go ahead ; I have a clean record. 

Well, what do you want? 

I want to go to Hell. 

Why? 

Because I have been driven from every other 
corporation. 

Do you believe me to bo stronger, wiser, and 
grander than God ? 

Yes, sir. 

Did you reguhirly break the Sabbath day? 

I did to the fullest extent of my power, and I 
also advocated dissipation and carousal during 
the Day of Eest. 

Yery good. Eecite "The Skeptics Creed." 

We believe in force and matter, and in blind 
chance. We deny the existence of God Almighty, 
and we believe in eternal death. 

That is correct. Air. Ingersoll did you write 
that ''telescope item" ? 

I did ; and I think it is a witty point. 

Colonel, I do the thinking in this place. 

Did you write that joke about Adam's rib? 

I did; aud I wish you could have heard the 
people laugh whenever I outraged the name of 
God. 

Did you deny Christ ? 

I slandered Him in the most viscious manner,^ 



OF INGERSOLL. 19 

and h'om tbe bottom of Helll will eternally curse 
Him. 

M.r Ingersoll, up to the present moment, I have 
been the most savage fiend in the universe. But 
your examination entitles you to take the highest 
honor in .'.he college ot fiends. Accept my crown^ 
my scepter, my tail, and cloven hoofs. Wear them 
with all the dignity of a mighty king, and through- 
out the ages of fierce heat and awful agony do not 
forget the Prince who gave his throne to you. 

Farewell, Colonel Ingersoll. I wish you all the 
pleasure that this ^^Hot Place" can shower upon 
you. Exit Devil. 

Eeligion sweetens the pleasures and lessens the 
sorrows of life, and infidelity cannot add to our 
happiness nor mitigate our misery. For example, 
we will view two scenes of life, in which joy and 
grief are represented. 

Scene first: A home, tidy and comfortable. A 
mother sits, and her infant sleepsupon her breast. 
The mother speaks in soliloquy. 

"My heart is filled with joy. God gave to me 
this breathing token of his love. How innocent 
it is, how sweet and pure, a tiny image of its In- 
finite Creator. Deep in my soul I will cherish 
His name, and my babe shall be taught to honor 
and adore Him." 

Enter Infidel. "Wife, I am going to hear In- 
gersoll deliver a lecture ; will you accompany 
me?" 

"No, Mr. Infidel, Ingersoll cannot benefit those 
who listen to him. 

"Ingersoll cannot? Why, he is reforming the 
world," 

"No, he cannot reform the world, for Christ 
has reformed it, and since His Ascension all so- 
called reformations are only adaptations of His 
Word." 



20 SOME MISTAKES 

"But Ingersoll is shaking the pillars in the 
temple of religion, and in this grand country he 
is praised and imitated."' 

"Has he benefitted our country, or improved 
the niorals of its cities ? The political tace oi 
<this nation wears the mask of fraud, and the 
social body is branded by murder, discord, and 
intemperance." 

"But Ingersoll is stepping upon the fanatics of 
old custom." 

"His conduct is unjust, for old custom is the 
corner-stone of the school of progress. 

"Husband, our home is a palace of pleasure 
and comfort. No tyrant can disturb its tran- 
quility; for love shall hold its peaceful sway, and 
with our sweet babe we will stand at the altar of 
innocence. Infidelity cannot add to our happi- 
ness." 

Scene second : The same characters, home and 
room. In the room is a casket. The casket is 
open, and it contains the body of an infant. The 
mother leans over it and speaks in soliloquy : 

"Art thou gone sweet babe? 
Gone, gone from her whose bosom once did thrill 
With thy fond touch ? Alas ! 

Death's awful hand hath plucked thee from my heart. 
And voiceless pallor paints thy dimpled form. 
Thy life hath ended like a lorely scene, 
AVhich, floating on the tinsel wings of dream, 
At last must fade away in dawn's gray shroud 
Yet, as I fold thy tiny hands, and weigh 
Thine eye-lids down in death's pathetic sleep, 
I teel no fearful pang or griping throb; 
For in that deathless land of peace a^d love, 
We'll meet, yes, once again. 
Into the strong, fond arms of Him wlio said, 
'Forbid them not', I give this tender germ. 
Sweet babe, Just for a little while, farewell I" 

lEnter Infidel: "Wife, my haughty strength is 
gone. Foolish philosophy is become a burden, 
and my soul pants for consolation. ' 

"Husband, listen. Within this casket is the 
evidence of life's frail and uncertain nature. 



OF INGERSOLL. 21 

Gloom stalks through scenes of worldly splendor, 
and sorrow follows in the foot-prints of joy. Genius, 
whose dauntless energy thrills the world, must 
tall, and melt away in the jaws of the bloated 
worm. Beauty must lay aside the gaudy robe, 
and wrap herself in the garments of death. Music 
may awaken courage, thrill imagination, or touch 
deep sentiment, but its sweetest harmonies die 
away in the plaintive cadence of sorrow. Life's 
brightest dream must fade at the ghostly dawn of 
disapppoiniment. 

"Such is the nature of our mortal life. But, 
only in this material body are we the subjects of 
change or death. Christ tells us that death is his 
servant ; that this gross body is but the temporary 
companion of a perfect spiritual body; that im- 
mortality will unfold scenes of endless beauty • 
that in Heaven we shall realize every sweet 
dream, each earnest hope. 'I am the way, the 
truth and the life,' is written upon the gates of 
eternity." 

''Wife, infidelity is an arrogant boaster, and 
doubt is a traitor. Despair stands at the grave and 
scoffs at the fool who doubts the word of God. Skep- 
ticism cannot console me. It tells me that my child 
has been swallowed by the black throat of decay, 
to be forever lost. It tells me that every life is an 
off-spring of chance, its end a frightful tragedy, — 
eternity, a blank. I cannot believe it. There is 
a Creator,Comforter, Savior. 

"Within this casket my tears shall fall. The 
jewels of repentence will glisten in the crown of 
death. Upon my infant's pulseless breast 1 will 
place the bonds of faith and hope." 

Then, let us believe that religion sweetens the 
pleasures and lessens the sorrows of life. Let us 
conclude that Mr. IngersoH's religious views are 



22 SOME MISTAKES 

distorted, that many of his assertions are mis- 
takes, that infidelity is a mistake, and that those 
who advocate it are mistaken. 

Nature, with its ten thousand voices, is testify- 
ing of Gad's truth and love. Ingersoll has but 
one voice, and he uses it to defame the Word of 
his Creator. The Christian believes that the 
human body is the direct workmanship of God. 
Ingersoll proclaims himself a descendent of the 
monkey. The Colonel eloquently apes lineal 
aristocracy. Ingersoll is a mouth organ of infi- 
delity, but his relatives, the monkeys, prefer the 
hand-organ. 

Evola'.ion, ladies and gentlemen, is the cause 
of this social discord. Evolution, as applied to 
man, is a systematization of theories, assertions!, 
and absurdities. Examine, for instance, the 
scientific character of the monkey. 

The ancieat scientists classified the monkey as 
an animal, but they were a little guarded in their 
views as they were afraid of public opinion. The 
modern scientists have no dread of public opinion. 
They say a man is a monkey, and that the 
monkey is man. Mr. Darwin represents the 
modern scientists. 

There is another scientific class that positively 
declare that the monkey is the creator of the 
human race. One of the strongest advocates of 
this school is Colonel Ingersoll. 

My friends, the excitement will soon be over, 
for the secret has been revealed. A Kentucky 
scientist has discovered that the monkey is a 
^'chestnut." 

But let us look at evolution in the light of 
Christian common sense. 

Can you accept a hairy monster as your first 
parent ? A monster that is an idiotic clown in the 



OF INGERSOLL. 23 

scale of animal life? Do you believe that the 
shaggy, loathsome body of a beast contains the 
immortal elements of a human soul ? No ; it can- 
not be! 

Evolution isan argument which was first howled 
in the infernal regions by discontented devils. 
Evolution is a python that drags man into a swamp 
and links him to a beast. It drives its hideous 
fang into the bosom of woman; fills her nature 
with brutish venom ; and toward the sublime 
presence of God it lilts its putrid head. 

The intelligence of man is from a grander source 
than the coarse brain of a brute. An intellect 
that can touch the stars and weigh them in the 
balance of thought never had its beginning in the 
flat skull of a monstrosity. The leering face of a 
wild beast is not the lundamental type of the 
lovely countenance of woman. You cannot cover 
Ihe genius of man with the skin of a monkey, 
Eeason never had a tail. 

Shakespeare's stupendous mind, that roofed the 
realm of nature and fenced it in with foot-lights, 
never originated in the muddy brain of an ape. 
A monkey cannot climb the height of Beethoven's 
genius. 

Architecture, painting, and music were not 
born in a jungle with a baboon grinning over 
them. 

Instinct crawls in the mud ; but reason walks 
in the crystal palace of thought. Evolution follows 
the track of instinct. Eeason is clothed with the 
sun; in her crown is the morning star; her breath 
is sweet incense; she is the lovel^^ daughter of 
truth. 

God's grandeur glitters in the firmament ; his 
love is faintly expressed in the pure and tender 
emotions of the human heart; his truth is 



24 SOME MISTAKES OF INGERSOLL. 

reflected by the flaming mirror ot day ; the 
shadow of his beauty and purity is on the lillies 
ot the field; and we see His image in the won- 
derful symmetry of the human form. 

Man's origin is exalted ; we are the children 
of the Parent Divine. 

Evolution, as applied to man, is only a theory, 
and it will soon be classed as infidelity's greatest 
mistake, as one of the mistakes of Ingersoll. 

A glorious day is dawning. The light is creep- 
ing into the valleys of superstition and into the 
caves of doubt. The White Horse, its rider, and 
the armies of Heaven are advancing through the 
glittering gates of day, and the thunder of the 
chariots begin to shake the world. Infidelity, 
idolatry, and false doctrines are doomed; '•'Behold, 
I make all things new," is their sentence of death. 

Ladies and gentlemen, to point out the imper- 
fections of a fellow man is a solemn undertak- 
ing; for he who does so unjustly is in danger of 
the judgment. But I stand before you with up- 
lifted hand, and testify that I have spoken without 
prejudice or malice. I know that I must give an 
account of my motives in the judgment hall of 
eternity. I know that death will open the book 
of my life, and that I shall stand in the presence 
of an immortal host. 

Then, to the people of the judgment 1 will say, 
as I have said to you. — I speak the honest evidence 
of my heart : I believe Ingersoll is mistaken. 



LIBRARY OF 



CONGRESS 



1^1 

019 971 812 5 



